For this reason, experts define this stage as the "no phase" that corresponds to a transient and natural state of the psychological infant development that is going to last approximately up to 3-4 years.
It is very important for you being aware that this attitude of your child is absolutely normal during his growth process and it is wrong blaming yourself for being unable to raise him properly.
Why does this behaviour arise and how?
Usually, the typical attitudes of the baby that is going through this stage are:
- Every request made by parents or any other adult finds the clear refusal of the baby
- If he is refused something, he reacts with anger and with real crisis, screaming, kicking or laying on the floor .
- He disobeys every day more, showing an increasing will of challenging adults and their authority.
By discovering the existence of the word "no", the child discovers somehow to be an independent human being, with an own personality, will, thought and attitude; moreover in this period the child also starts to use the personal pronoun “I” and stops to refers to himself in third person (David goes on the baby swing) making parents realize that day by day he is becoming more aware of his individuality.It is also important to understand that by saying "no" the child starts to make his first big steps towards the conquer of his autonomy dissociating himself from parents for the first time.
A further reason why the child adopts this behaviour is the wish to verify till what extent he can impose his will on parents’ and which are the boundaries he can or cannot exceed.
For this reason, parents’ reactions take on a significant value in their child’s education. Indeed, on one hand a too strict behaviour may tend to exacerbate his resistant attitude or to repress his natural strive for independence and on the other hand being too much permissive may lead to confuse the child preventing him from creating those few rules that will help him in life.
What should I do?
In order to face and overcome successfully this natural stage of your child, it is important to follow a few simple advices:
- Take a deep breath, keep calm in confrontations
- Avoid challenges trying to do not be too strict and imperative
- Give your child some alternatives to gain his willingness and availability
- Set few simple rules rather than refusing him everything (for example taking all his toys out of the basket, going to sleep at a determined hour or to move about nervously in the highchair when it is meal time).
- Learn to face his scenes rather than being affected by his blackmails and his tantrums in public spaces.
Finally, it is important to remind that this behaviour is just a transient phase that will end up by itself with passing of time so it is necessary to face it in the best way possible with calm and the proper predisposition and serenity..you will see this phase ending up in less than no time.
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